A Nervous Justin Bieber Continues Apology Tour at Roast...

Nothing was off limits at the Bieber Roast... although there was one joke Justin didn't seem too keen on (more on that below).
On
Saturday night, Justin Bieber sat front and center during the Comedy
Central taping and endured a brutal four-hour tirade of pretty much
everything he has done wrong in his life so far.
In fact, it was on from the very moment everyone arrived. As guests took their seats, an egg was placed on each person's plate "for tasting not tossing."
Roast
master Kevin Hart kicked things off and perhaps put it best: "Tonight
we are gonna do what parents and the legal system should have done a
long time… give the boy an ass wooping he deserves."
Snoop
Dogg, Martha Stewart, Ludacris, Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell), Shaquille
O'Neil, Jeff Ross, Hannibal Buress, Chris D'Elia, and Pete Davidson all
participated in the skewering of the singer.
"Over
under an hour… how long do you think Justin Bieber makes it before
walking off the stage," one guest was overheard asking on his way into
the taping. There were a lot of comments like that from attendees during
the cocktail hour that took place ahead of the main event, and to
Justin's credit he sat through it all. He just started off looking like a
nervous wreck.
The Biebs took the stage, sitting next to Snoop while Hart got the festivities started. For the first time at one of these — and perhaps unbeknownst to the 21-year-old singer —
there was a split screen set up so the audience could see Justin's
reaction during the jabs. He gave some smiles during Hart's intro, but
it was clear he had no idea what he had gotten himself into. However,
once things got going and Justin saw that all the comedians go after one
another too he seemed to calm down and really enjoy himself.Selena
Gomez couldn't be here tonight. Just because she didn't want to be
here," Hart said, eliciting one of the first big laughs from the pop
star.
A few other jokes that got Justin to crack up:
"You have it all… except love, friends, good parents and a Grammy." – Chris D'Elia
"Justin,
I don't like your music. I think it's bad, man. I hate your music. I
hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy." – Hannibal Buress
"Justin, you're so pretty, when inmates see your mug shot, they swipe right." – Snoop
"All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time." – Natasha Legerro
"Justin... you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were
ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn't rank
that low... and he uses your music to torture people." – Shaq
"Sixty million Twitter followers? The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower." – Martha Stewart
"Orlando Bloom took a swing at you, you have a perfume called Girlfriend, you threw eggs at a house… not gangsta." – Kevin Hart
"You act so much like a p--sy, Ellen [DeGeneres] tried to eat you." – LudacrisMind you, Justin's mom and grandparents were in the audience to hear all that and more (those one-liners are really just a drop in the bucket).
All in all there was only one joke that Bieber didn't seem to find too funny. No, it wasn't one of the three Bruce Jenner ones (Kendall and Kourtney Kardashian were in attendance to hear those), but rather one about his most famous ex."Selena
Gomez wanted to be here but she's dating men now," Jeff Ross began. "Is
it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you? Selena
Gomez had sex with [you]... proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs
Americans just won't do."
Justin
didn't seem too pleased, giving a stonefaced reaction. But he was a
good sport about many of the other Selena digs. (For example: "You're
about to get f--ked harder that Orlando Bloom f--ked Selena Gomez" and "Selena Gomez had to f--k you. She is literally the least lucky Selena in show business.")
In the end, it was Bieber who got the last word — and a standing ovation — when he took the mic, and the "Confident" singer was pretty good in his delivery too.Damn,
you guys were brutal,” he said. “This was supposed to be a birthday
present. When people ask me what I got for my 21st birthday, I’ll tell
them I got my d--k kicked in. I should have known.”
"What
do you get when you give a teenager $200 million?" Justin continued. "A
bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours."
But
his joke that got the biggest audience reaction was this: "Martha
Stewart: Thanks for coming. I'll bet that's something you don't do much
of anymore."
However, Bieber ended things on a serious note, apologizing once again for his bad behavior.
"I
turned a lot of people off over the past few years, but I know I can
still turn out good music and turn everything all around," he said.
"I've lost some of my best qualities. For that, I am sorry… I'm looking
forward to being someone who you guys can all look at and be proud of."
He added, "Someone
close to me once said, 'It's how you rise from a fall that truly
defines you as a man.' I'm excited for that challenge. And I want to say
thank you for taking this journey with me."
Clearly,
the night didn't get Justin down. Following the taping, he hopped on a
private jet and headed to Las Vegas to party it up.





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